Feeling guilty…

It has been 6 days since I lost my best friend. The one who never said a word, yet she helped me through so much.

Today seems a little better, but now I feel guilty because I smiled. I feel like I should be sad and crying. I feel like it is too soon to smile and too soon to laugh.

Author: Katrina

Dymond was diagnosed with Histocytic Sarcoma October 2013, she kicked cancer's butt for nearly two years. She gained her wings on June 15, 2015.

6 thoughts on “Feeling guilty…”

  1. Your baby would want you to smile and laugh! It’s ok… I know it’s so difficult to lose your best friend! I’ve been there!!! But your best friend is happy and free and wants you to feel the same!

    1. Yes it is SO VERY difficult not having her. I know you’re right and I am trying to take the next step (still not sure what that is), but it is extremely difficult.

  2. Katrina,
    Dymond would not want you to sit around and be sad. She wants you to be able to enjoy life. A smile or a laugh doesn’t mean you aren’t still grieving her. Give yourself a big break and let yourself smile or laugh.

    xoxxox

    Michelle & Angel Sassy

    1. Awwww…thank you Michelle. I’m really trying to tell myself that it is okay to smile and laugh. The truth is I just feel so terrible doing those things without her because she was such a stinker and made me laugh a lot.

  3. I know how hard it is … and it’s still so incredibly early. The first weeks were the worst … the silence, the void … I was a caregiver without a purpose. But each day it got better. I don’t know what you find peaceful or comforting but for me, it was that first time I laced up my running shoes again. Shelby wasn’t always my running partner but running was always my therapy. Yeah, I cried the first few times – especially by the beach – but it got better. Be kind to yourself. Get a mani/pedi, have cake, go out with friends, laugh… cry … it WILL get better!

    Alison with Spirit Shelby in her heart

    1. Alison I hope the days get better because the void is terrible. As I’m typing this I’m crying again. I’ll try to be kind to myself, but right now I don’t know what that is.

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