People commend my strength, but the truth is I feel so lost. You see everyday for the past 9 years was effortlessly devoted to my Dymond. Every decision I made, every trip I planned, every move I made, from the most small things to the more elaborate – Dymond had to be cared for. I would have moved mountains and parted the sea for her if I could. Now, not having that in my life, leaves me lost. Am I alone?
Not alone at all Katrina. This part of our journey is the hardest of the hard. It is one we travel alone no matter how many support us and are there along side of us. We grieve the way we grieve. No one can tell us the right or wrong way to do it.
Part of the hardest thing is all the care we have given during this journey. It makes us so close to our babies.
Yes, some of us have traveled this part of the journey some choose to leave the site forever, some leave for awhile, some stay to help others. I chose to stay. I was lost with out my “family” here who have been with me the whole time. I didn’t know. It is now my mission to help others that is what Sassy would have wanted.
Being lost right now is so normal ( if we have a good definition of normal) I know I was for awhile.
Thinking of you
xoxoxox
Michelle & Angel Sassy
Thank you. I know in time I will be strengthened, but right now I’m weak. I’m paralyzed by grief and sadness. It is hard for me to hold my head up because all I want to do is cry.